My Feet Hit the Floor All Tingly

Let’s be authentic, okay?  I’ve been battling getting up early this week to meet with Jesus.  It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do, but man, sleep, life worries, laziness, work worries, house duties … it all seemed to get in the way this week.  Yesterday I had a good lunch hour and spent it journaling; I was talking to God about my desires for Him and how I planned to get up early the next day to meet with Him.  Because He’s worth it.  He’s worth waking up early.  He’s worth putting housework off.  He’s worth pushing worries aside to concentrate on Him and my relationship with Him.  Why? Because He controls and sustains all that anyhow.  I’m not in charge of it, He is.  And if I come to Him and surrender it all to Him from the start of my day, it allows me to remember — all day long — that He is in control and will take care of my heart through it all.

I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm today.  That never happens! But it was sweet.  I thought about going back to sleep for 3 minutes, but who was I kidding … I’d never get back up!  So my feet hit the floor, all tingly.  And this song popped into my head: Come Ye Sinners by the Robbie Seay Band.  Listen to it.  Give it it’s 4 minutes and enjoy.  Allow your heart to come to Jesus as you listen.  Receive and be reminded of the truths in this song.  Enjoy Him right now and every moment of today.  I’m in it with you!

Come Ye Sinners Robbie Seay Band

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Manipulation

You may be asking a really simple question, “What really is manipulation?”  To put it simply,

Manipulation is simply trying to outsmart someone else to get our own way In this case, we are talking about manipulating our husbands and what is so sad is that this is an area that comes so easily and naturally to a woman. If we believe that God’s plan for marriage is better than ours and that He has created our husbands to lead our families, then manipulation is truly aimed at:

 Outsmarting God to get our way

We all know that we can’t outsmart God & I am not really sure what makes us resort to this tactic; I guess maybe we are all just “Desperate Housewives” in one sense! An early 20th century Biblical scholar, Crawford Toy,  writes in his Commentary on Proverbs that there are 3 things that make a house intolerable:

 1.     the leaking through of rain

2.     bugs

3.     a wife’s nagging

 

Did you know that nagging is a form of manipulation?  We nag, nag, nag until our husbands get so tired of hearing us that they finally give in to our wishes.  I never want my husband to look at me as a nag.  I am so bad about this that there are many times I will have a “to do” list and I will tell Dick what needs to be fixed, but I will never go back & remind him.  I think sometimes he gets more irritated with me because I don’t remind him and he can’t always remember what needs to be done than if I were to nag a little about it!

Another form of manipulation is what one of my friends admits she has resorted to in order to get her way.  She said it usually goes like this…

 “Honey, what do you think this lamp looks like here?  (Wanting him to agree with her) and then he might say something like, “I don’t like it there; I think it looks better over here.”  Now, instead of discussing it with him at that point, and trying to do what he likes, she leaves it for a day or two, but is still unhappy with it.  So then she goes in, changes it.  Then, he wonders why she changed it and so the discussion starts and he replies, “Well if you didn’t want my opinion, then why did you ask for it? “  So, she has created a situation where he doesn’t want to give an opinion now and she finally gets her way and wins.  It would work a lot better if she would just be the decorator in this situation, unless of course he has strong decorating opinions.  In that case, they both need to be able to give their opinions and they need to sit down and come up with a happy decision that pleases them both.

In review, we have looked at how to keep our husbands ticking through submission, tranquility in the home, faithfulness & respect.  And four areas that tick them off are comparison, lack of communication, finances & manipulation.  We are now ready to see what tickles them.  This should be fun:)

 

Finances

This next tick is a crucial issue in most families & usually it is because there never seems to be enough to go around!  FINANCES/MONEY.

 We are all raised differently and the way we have used, spent & saved money in our past is what we carry into our marriages.  This many times requires work to co-ordinate how the money is handled.  But, living within your means is a big area where you can show your husband love.  Continually spending more money More

Communication-or lack thereof

At points in our married life we will all go  through  periods of time where we one or both are under a lot of stress.  This can cause us to be short with each other, this has happened in our marriage several times, one time in particular I rememeber…I said something that was not very loving or gentle…then Dick came out with something that hurt my feelings.  Now trying not to cause a big argument,  I engulfed those hurtful words and thought about them, held them close and nursed them like a newborn baby—I would feed them in my mind and then watch the resentment in my heart grow until God pointed out my sin.  So, after some time passed when some other issues arose ,I  tried a different approach.

 I sat down, kept my personal feelings aside & discussed why I thought we were communicating poorly.   WOW…what a difference a kind word will make.  Proverbs (15:1) tells us “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Harsh words are like stabbing someone with a knife.  One stab makes you bleed a little, but several, continual stabs will eventually make you bleed to death. So, the next time you feel that “tension before the argument”- try taking a different approach…step back, take a deep breath & look for a soft gentle answer.  Remember,

 “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matthew 12:34).  If God fills my heart then gentle, loving answers & words will fill my mouth.

One of the most important ways to love our husbands is to learn how to communicate & fight clean.  Good marriages get better when a couple grows and changes from their arguments.  When that happens you aren’t always arguing over the same old set of circumstances every time. When resolving conflict, try working on:

  •  Using kindness & gentleness
  • Apologizing FIRST
  • Forgiving
  • Using tact

 Listen to this cute story of a husband who is learning how to use tact.  It comes form a book by Michael LeBoeuf titled “How to Win Customers & Keep Them for Life” (pg.100 of The Tardy Oxcart by Chuck Swindoll):

 “Tact is one of the lost arts of the 20th century, isn’t it?  I heard about a man who lacked tact.  He was the type person who just couldn’t say it graciously.  He & his wife owned a poodle.  They loved this dog.  It was the object of their affection.  The wife was to take a trip abroad & the 1st day away she made it to New York.  She called home & asked her husband, “How are things?”  He said, “The dog’s dead!”  She was devastated.  After collecting her thoughts, she asked, “Why do you do that?  Why can’t you be more tactful?” He said, “Well, what do you want me to say? The dog died.”  She said, “Well you could give it to me in stages.  For example, you could say when I call you from New York, ‘The dog is on the roof.’  And then when I travel to London the next day & call, you could tell me, ‘Honey, the dog fell off the roof.’  And when I call you from Paris, you could add, ‘The dog had to be taken to the vet.  In fact he is in the hospital and is not doing well.’  And finally, when I call you from Rome, ‘Honey, brace yourself.  Our dog died.’  I could handle that.”The husband paused & said, “Oh, I see.”  The she asked, “By the way, how is mother?”  And he said, “She’s on the roof!”

 Get the idea?  Good Communication takes practice throughout your marriage; it is something you will always work on…by the way, remember when I said I tried to put my personal feelings aside & communicate in a Godly style?  Do you know that made such an impact on my husband that he brought it up everyday for almost a full week & thanked me for trying so hard to help us communicate with out arguing?  Poor communication certainly is an irritant that ticks off our husbands.

What Ticks Him Off?

As we discussed earlier, the better student you are of your husband the easier it is to avoid the things which upset him.  You might even feel like the Peanuts cartoon where Lucy looks at Snoopy & says, “There are times when you really bug me, but I must admit there are also a lot of times when I feel like giving you a big hug.”  Snoopy replies:  More

Faithfulness and Respect

Think back on your wedding day, the dress, the excitement, the flowers, the music, the family and friends.  Wonderful memories flood my mind when I take that walk in my memory.  I so remember the sunlight coming in the stained glass while I repeated my vows. Little did I realize when I innocently stood at the altar and repeated (insert your names):

I Virginia take you Dick to be my wedded husband…” that I was actually making a covenant with God; not a contract with man.  A contract can be broken, but a covenant is made with God and is intended for life.  What you and I actually promised to do when we made that covenant was to be Faithful and to : More

31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 12: Friends

We all need friends.  Let’s just be honest: I love friends.  Friends are fun.  Friends hug you.  I love hugs.  Friends are sweet to you.  Friends listen and give of themselves to you.  Good friends are great.  Do you have good friends?  I’ve been blessed over the years with great ones.  I totally see that.  Yet sometimes, friendship can be complicated.  Friends hurt each other.  I’m at the stage in life where *hopefully* we’re being hurt unintentionally.  Here are my tips to being a good friend in these older stages of life:
More

The Impact of Our Words

A certain verse has been on my mind a lot lately-so I figure God is trying to tell me something and I have been praying and listening.   Here’s the verse:

  • “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.” Matt. 12:34 & Luke 6:45

Coincidentally, I have just started following a blog by a young woman named Holley Gerth.  I love her little devotions that are right to the point and also a quick read.  So today while checking email I read her daily devotion and it hit me-this is a straight arrow More

P 31-part three

Here we go again…not sure whether to call this adding insult to injury or adding quality to the quantity we already have!  Seriously, these next five verses in Proverbs 31 just keep getting better.  I especially love More

P 31-part two

Proverbs 31 presents a “type or model”, a composite, of an ideal wife and mother. It is impossible to be perfect, however, the woman represented in this chapter does give a wonderful list of attributes to work toward.  Today, let’s look at More

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