My Feet Hit the Floor All Tingly

Let’s be authentic, okay?  I’ve been battling getting up early this week to meet with Jesus.  It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do, but man, sleep, life worries, laziness, work worries, house duties … it all seemed to get in the way this week.  Yesterday I had a good lunch hour and spent it journaling; I was talking to God about my desires for Him and how I planned to get up early the next day to meet with Him.  Because He’s worth it.  He’s worth waking up early.  He’s worth putting housework off.  He’s worth pushing worries aside to concentrate on Him and my relationship with Him.  Why? Because He controls and sustains all that anyhow.  I’m not in charge of it, He is.  And if I come to Him and surrender it all to Him from the start of my day, it allows me to remember — all day long — that He is in control and will take care of my heart through it all.

I woke up 3 minutes before my alarm today.  That never happens! But it was sweet.  I thought about going back to sleep for 3 minutes, but who was I kidding … I’d never get back up!  So my feet hit the floor, all tingly.  And this song popped into my head: Come Ye Sinners by the Robbie Seay Band.  Listen to it.  Give it it’s 4 minutes and enjoy.  Allow your heart to come to Jesus as you listen.  Receive and be reminded of the truths in this song.  Enjoy Him right now and every moment of today.  I’m in it with you!

Come Ye Sinners Robbie Seay Band

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It’s A 3 Day Weekend!!!

And you know what? I couldn’t be more excited.  For a few reasons …

1. I’ve been struggling with Cedar Fever … more on that later … and I can’t wait to just rest. and enjoy.

2. I get to rest and enjoy!  yay!

3. I get to be with my family!  yay!! These guys can be super fun!

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So what are you going to do with your day?  We’ll do a bit of everything.  Some normal stuff: cleaning up, laundry, intersecting fights and bickering with {what we always hope is} gospel-filled, truth centered conversation.  That’s the hope at least.  And we’ll do some fun weekend stuff … watch some football, play games, watch a movie, go to a UT swim meet.  And we’ll rest up, of course.

Although I’m feeling better this morning {God has graciously provided relief from Cedar Fever with a careful concoction of Allergy-D Meds, water and lots of kleenex}, I’m still going to avoid time outside like the plague.  Indoor fun is what I’m clinging to on this longer weekend.

So join me,will you, in being intentional about bringing love and enjoyment into your weekend … be it a 1, 2, or 3 day one. 🙂

Balance-Speaking The Gospel To Yourself Daily

2013-11-21 10.21.49Balance. I laugh in the face of balance. And then I kind of start to whimper, and then I kind of start to cry, because I realize… well at least this morning… I feel like I have no balance. Not the kind of balance where it’s like “whoa, I’m going to fall”, but the kind of balance to wear everything in your house and your home and with your life is working in good order and all is okay. Did not feel like that this morning.

I’m on day three of the new job that, by the way, is a great and wonderful. But just the transition to something different like this is hard. I’m trying to get not only the kids to school on time but also have myself ready and walking out the door so that as soon as I drop them off I can go straight to work. That’s kind of hard.

So on the way to work, when I started to feel the tension rising, I tried to remind myself of the Gospel. I tried to speak truth into my own heart and my own mind to combat the lack of balance I was feeling. I reminded myself of God’s goodness and grace to always care for me in every situation I’m in. I reminded myself of Matthew 6, where Jesus is talking about the lilies of the field, and how God knows every detail of their life and their beauty. I was able to remind myself that He knows and feels the same for me. That He knows how I feel that He knows what I’m going through; that He ordained what I’m going through; that He is with me in this, and that He is for me in this.

In those moments, I was able to verbally reiterate, through prayer, my faith and trust in Him as my Lord and Savior & as the one to whom I commit my life too.

Guys, this is living out the gospel every day. This is speaking the gospel to yourself. This is speaking truth to yourself. This is what I have to do all the time all day long. It’s amazing how my heart and my mind wander so quickly and so easily and I’m not able to focus in on what matters all the time.

So I want to encourage you today, to do the same thing. What are you thinking? What are you doubting? What are you feeling? Are you talking to Jesus about those things? Are you looking in Scripture to find help for where you’re at? These are the things you’ve got to do on a daily regular basis to have our hearts right before him all the time.

Will you do this with me?

When Your Child Wakes You Up For The Fourth Time In A Night…

Well, it draws many questions … What is going on?  Did you wet the bed?  Bad Dreams?  Spiritual Warfare?  Too cold?  Do you need another blanket?  Do you have to pee?

It draws many emotions … I’m tired; yay! It’s only midnight, 5-6 more hours of sleeping!; oh, dear goodness, NO … It’s only 2 am.; is it bad to turn on the TV at 3 am and just let him sit there while we sleep?; it’s 4:45 … may as well just get up.

It’s weird.  Sometimes I’m actually angry when kids wake me up a lot at night.  That’s kind of revealing … it shows the selfishness of my heart for just wanting uninterrupted sleep.

The ability to not go back to sleep at 4:45 also shows the condition of my heart around certain circumstances right now.  I was worrying.  “what does she think about me.  I don’t want her to think I’m that kind of person, etc.”.  It makes me want to go to said person and say certain things … reiterate things just to make sure she knows I’m not that kind of person.  Control was creeping up.   More

31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 27: I Dropped The Ball

Let’s Just Be Honest: I dropped the ball.  I’ve been doing it a lot lately, but mostly with myself and family stuff around the house.  It’s not yet to the point where it’s affecting that many other people besides me and my husband.  More

31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 14: Influence

Unfortunately, I’m not a writer by nature.  The only thing I am by nature is a sinner.  100% tried and true sinner.  The only thing I am by the work of the Holy Spirit is redeemed.  Totally, supernaturally, a completely different person.  Just because I’m not a writer, doesn’t mean I do not like to write or want to blog.  I enjoy it.  Sometimes I wonder why I do it, ya know, besides because I just enjoy it.  God reminded me the other day that it’s because He might just use this in someone else’s life.  That’s my hope and prayer.  That whatever I do is being used by God to influence other people towards Him.

Why do you do what you do? More

31 days of Let’s Just Be Honest: Intro

I have a blogger friend that lives in Austin.  I’ve gotten to know a bit over the past few years.  She’s great.  Her name is Jamie Ivey and you should check her out over here at Dreaming Big Dreams.  About a week ago she emailed asking if I wanted to do this 31-day challenge with her where we blog on the same topic for 31 days during the month of October.  The challenge came from NESTING PLACE.  I think this is her fifth year doing it and last year she apparently had 1200 people participating.  I’m actually suppose to have one of those fancy buttons that others put on their website, but I don’t know how to make those.  So I don’t have one.  Do you know how to make one? Can you make one for me ? 🙂 This will be my home page and I’ll have links here daily.

This is a hard challenge for me to do.  It’s blogging on 1 topic for 31 days in a row.  Wow.  Not sure I can do this.  If you follow my blog, you know sometimes I blog weekly, sometimes it’s 6-8 a month and sometimes a whole month comes and goes, in blogging silence!!!  I’ve got a lot going on right now, so I’m hoping a lot will flow and you’ll get to share in the fun, hard and good of it all.

The topic I’m blogging on for 31 days: Let’s Just Be Honest. More

Psalm 32:3-4

Psalm 32:3-4

This is part 2 of a Psalm 32 Series.

3 When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away

Through my groaning all day long.

Our sin isn’t supposed to be hidden and kept in the dark.  It feels like it should be secretive and that no one should find out about it, but that’s not true.  When it’s kept in the dark, it feels like this.  It’s gross and it’s hard and it is our bodies, emotionally, spiritually and physically wasting away and groaning through it.  When it’s brought into the light there is freedom from it and, now,  the ability to do differently.

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4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.

Selah.

Failing to confess my sin to Him results in internal heartache and external grief.

We’re in the middle of an all out Texas Summer, with highs above 100 for days in a row.  How exhausting is that mid afternoon heat?  It’s awful, isn’t it?  Having to run errands in it is almost a death sentence!  All I want to do is provide relief for myself and sit in a swimming pool.  That’s the way it was for David.  He was physically exhausted from it.  Unconfessed sin wore him out. The Lord’s hand was on Him, encouraging him to bring that sin into the light through confession.  I’ve been there … many a time, this morning included.  Failing to confess my sin to Him results in a heaviness that is draining.

Let us be reminded, now friends, of verses 1 & 2 of Psalm 32.  Confessing our sin is a relief.  It changes us deeply.  That’s a good thing.

The Letting Go

This was me, writing my thoughts to God in my journal 2 days ago:

I just want to sit and read a book and that‘s not happening.

Working out is a major chore.  The fun of it isn’t there anymore.

I feel irritated by normal life.  Having to make grocery lists and get shopping done.   Having to take time out of my summer fun things to do to clean house and get stuff done.

There’s this low-level conflict between the kids and I (what feels like) all the time and I just want it to go away.  Summer is about fun … and we’re not having it.

I’m irritated at my eating decisions.  In all this irritation at life, I’m trying to escape and comfort myself with food — bad for me food.

Do you see what’s happening here?  Things are not going the way I want them to and I’m feeling it.  I’ve been irritated at everything and everyone.

My very next journal sentence was this: More

Jesus, Meet Me in My Mess

There is so much I have to do today.  I have to clean the house for bible study tonight.  Vacuum … mop … sweep … bathrooms … dust … I’ve got to get everyone ready … do breakfast … intervene fights … take care of the dog … welcome play date guests … intervene play date fights.  Oh, our guests will be here in two days and the guest room/playroom is a mess. I’ve got to finish moving my stuff into there and move all of Tucker’s stuff into his new room.  I’ve got to get groceries this afternoon … in the heat of the day … with tired children.  There’s so much to do.  I feel the tension rising.

{Please join me as I link up today with my friend Jamie Ivey on her blog Dreaming Big Dreams.  You can continue reading the rest of this post over here.}

I feel it in my neck.  The tension creeps up.  My neck and shoulders are tightening.  The kids are bickering.  I can’t get it all done.  I just feel a mess this morning.  Just a mess.  Not just organizationally, but I’m off with the kids … that’s a mess this morning.  I’m off spiritually.  I like to sit and read and pray every morning and that hasn’t happened this week like I’ve wanted it to. .  Jesus meet me in my mess!!!  Help!  I feel like I’m drowning here!

I finally give in and break down and throw out these prayers to heaven hoping they connect …

Jesus, I want you to meet me here.  Be here with me.  Come and take it all and make it right.  Make the house clean; make the errands be done; make the kids stop fighting; make it all go away and be done!

Y’all … this really happened a few days ago.  I’d been just sitting in this place of ‘God where are you?  What are you doing here in my crazy every day mess?!  Why aren’t you coming to make it all go away!? ‘ But then I realized something …

He IS in my mess.  He’s here.  He’s always here.  In the book of Matthew, Jesus is risen and speaking to His disciples and gives them specific commands for when He’s gone, along with some comforting truth.  Here is what He says: 

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:19-20 (bold added)

So I really don’t need to plead for God to be with me in what I’m going through.  He is already here.  He knows what I’m going through.  He actually is allowing a little bit of crazy in my day so that I might lift my eyes and heart to Him and be drawn back to Him in the midst of the crazy.  

Realizing this has been life changing for me.  God is always with us.  Jesus is ALWAYS there to meet our every need.  His death, burial and resurrection were given to us so that we might secure our eternal whereabouts, but also so that He might meet our every need here on earth. 

How do you reconnect to God during the crazy? 

I’ve found that once I recognize I’m in the midst of something overwhelming – whether emotionally, spiritually or just circumstantially – then I need to stop.  Just stop.  Stop and pray, acknowledging to Jesus that I’m in over my head and that I need Him to help me right here, right now.  I get really specific about what I’d like for Him to do in the moment and then I just surrender it all to Him and His will, knowing that He is going to do a far better job taking care of me than I ever will. This always comforts me in those moments:

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

So I challenge you today to acknowledge the crazy that’s around you.  Take it to Jesus in prayer and allow Him to work it out through you.  Sit in the comfort and peace that His plans for you are full of welfare, future and hope.  I’ll be doing that with you today … let me know, below, how it goes.

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