A Mommy’s Time With Jesus

So every morning I try to spend time with jesus.  For me, this is just a time of prayer (confession, repentance, surrendering my heart and plans to His will, etc.) and reading scripture.  I have really had some stuff on my heart lately.  I’d been wanting to take some time and ‘get it all out’ in prayer with God.  I do that by journaling.  Here is what my journal was from late last week: (I’ve omitted some details that don’t need to be ‘out there’ just yet!) Still … you’ll get the gist: 

Jesus prepare my heart. For what you have in store. I am anticipating XXX.  Honestly, that makes my heart sad, but it’s the reality and that’s okay. Lots of families do it well. Again, Jesus, I’m fearful of how ‘hard’ it will be on XXX. I know X will be okay, but I don’t think X thinks that. X hates the idea of this. Jesus I need You to give X the faith to believe in You that it’ll be okay and that You’ll take care of it all like you’re taking care of me. 

Oh my gosh the kids are fighting and won’t leave each other alone. For 20 minutes. Back and forth and back and forth. k.i.l.l.i.n.g.m.e. Mean words. Back and forth. Giving me a headache. Scratching each other. Slamming doors. I. MEAN. COME. ON!

And that’s when the computer shut and I was done!  I know this is the reality for not just me, but all of us moms.  We have a ton going on and it’s not going to stop just for us to have our quite times or to ‘meet with Jesus’ or journal or pray or catch our breath or eat or even pee!  Life doesn’t stop, it just keeps going, so we just have to go with it.

Sometimes things like this totally frustrate me and I get mad at God.  “Why can’t I just pray in science?!?!?” — “I’m actually trying to be intentional in my relationship with you, God, and you can’t even make them stop for one minute??!?! it’s for the betterment of me … AND THEM!!!”  But instead … I’m learning to just take what I can get and be thankful for it.  My conversation with God doesn’t have to end with the journaling above.  And I’m learning to walk in that!!!

What do you do to meet with God in your hectic busy life?

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