Submission and Tranquility

Submission is a topic that is so misunderstood in the Christian as well as non-Christian world.  It’s intimidating to think of someone having authority over us, but we all do.  In all areas of life there is authority that rules us.  On the other hand, submission to the proper authority is often a freeing thing.  God has called our husband’s to take the lead in the family and for the wife to submit to that lead and be the helper that our completes our husband.  Submission does not mean that you are a doormat for your husband to walk over you.  In healthy marriages, decisions are usually talked over and made by both partners.  If a decision can’t seem to be agreed on, then it is the husbands role to make the final decision.  Christian men who are walking with the Lord desire to love their wives and lead them the way the Lord leads the man.  Think of Christ-like qualities, the fruits of the spirit, etc.  These are the general attitudes Godly men reflect when leading their wives.  So this blog will deal with men who live that way.  This does not take into account marriages that might need counseling to get on the right track.

  1. First & foremost we must let our husbands lead by fulfilling the God-ordained role of submitting in the manner that God has called us to.
  • I have learned a lot in almost 42 years of marriage about submission.  I have learned that my desire to control comes from the sin that all began with Eve in Genesis 3.  When Satan told Eve something like this,
      • “Hey Eve, God is withholding something good from you.  He won’t let you eat this yummy fruit because then you will be as smart as Him.”
      • Well, Eve listened to that lie & that is at the very heart of the issue.  Eve did not submit to God’s authority.
      • ( HMMM…maybe I should discuss that with her when I get to Heaven!)
  • Submission is simply telling God “I trust You, Lord, I trust you to allow Dick to fulfill the role you have given him as a leader.”  It is that simple.   Now, if I do not submit,
    • I am in rebellion to God which is sin because He has asked me to be Dick’s suitable helper.
  • If I don’t follow, he can’t lead and someday he will stand before God and be held accountable for leading his family.  When God says “Dick, I trusted you to lead and be an example for ‘gini & the kids.”  I want Dick to be able to say, “Lord, she followed-sometimes it was difficult for us & sometimes I was wrong, but we grew in the process”.
  • By the way, what happens if you are following & your husband is wrong & you can see it, but he can’t?  Ladies, if it isn’t something that goes against God’s Word & you have voiced your opinion to your husband (of course in a kind and gentle manner), then you still follow him and pray, pray, pray.  God may be allowing him to make a mistake so he can teach him something.
  1. Another common trait that our husbands’ desire is that of tranquility and order within the home:

“A survey was taken a few years ago to determine what men care about the most & what they hope their wives will understand…What they wanted most was tranquility @ home.  Competition is fierce in the workplace today & the stresses of pleasing a boss & surviving professionally are so severe that the home needs to be a haven to which a man can return. It is a smart woman who tries to make her home what her husband needs it to be.”

Ladies, we need to provide a refuge from the storms of life. A place that is comfortable with food available, sweet smelling, warm, calm, and relaxing.  The enticement should be a strong-hold in his memory to which he always desires to return.  Many of us have strong memories of a place like that from some point in our lives:

  • The memory of going to my grandmother’s home where perhaps on a cool spring evening she would greet me with that sweet smile and open arms, the windows wide open with the breeze flowing through, the radio playing hymns in the background and the smell of fried chicken and pie that wafted from her kitchen are something that I will never forget…that I always looked forward to …that is the same type feeling we want our husbands to have when they think of home.

My attitude has so much to do with the attitude of my mate and my children.  My husband loves the saying, ”If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t anybody happy.”  This is so true; we set the tone and the tone that God wants us to set is one of joy, optimism & delight. Holly and I were having lunch one day at this cute tea room  and  she saw a tea towel with this phrase on it and  said, ”Mom, you have to buy that, Dad says that all the time!” It hangs in my kitchen as a constant reminder of the tone I am setting for my family.)

  • Martha Peace writes in her book, The Excellent Wife,:  “A godly wife is organized and works hard to operate her home with the least possible chaos.  She also creates an optimistic, joyful atmosphere for her family…The wife & mother who view life as a cross to bear, influences the others in the home to think the same way.  She easily robs everyone else of joy like the yeast in the bread she bakes, her ungodly attitudes spread to everyone else.  Love the Lord you God with all your heart & love your family almost as much.

Be patient, kind and do not be selfish.  Create such an atmosphere in your home that your husband will look forward to coming home…he will want to be around you, not avoid you.”

Next time we will tackle  faithfulness & respect.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Judy Fairchild
    Feb 10, 2014 @ 09:50:03

    I love this! I look forward to reading more blogs from you, Gini!


  2. ginicraven
    Feb 10, 2014 @ 11:39:52

    Thank you so much-hope you enjoy them.


  3. christy
    Feb 20, 2014 @ 21:43:56

    These are great! What a fun and catchy way to approach these topics – what makes him tick, what ticks him off, and what tickles him. You are so creative! I’m glad to catch up on these and thankful for your wisdom!


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