When Your Child Wakes You Up For The Fourth Time In A Night…

Well, it draws many questions … What is going on?  Did you wet the bed?  Bad Dreams?  Spiritual Warfare?  Too cold?  Do you need another blanket?  Do you have to pee?

It draws many emotions … I’m tired; yay! It’s only midnight, 5-6 more hours of sleeping!; oh, dear goodness, NO … It’s only 2 am.; is it bad to turn on the TV at 3 am and just let him sit there while we sleep?; it’s 4:45 … may as well just get up.

It’s weird.  Sometimes I’m actually angry when kids wake me up a lot at night.  That’s kind of revealing … it shows the selfishness of my heart for just wanting uninterrupted sleep.

The ability to not go back to sleep at 4:45 also shows the condition of my heart around certain circumstances right now.  I was worrying.  “what does she think about me.  I don’t want her to think I’m that kind of person, etc.”.  It makes me want to go to said person and say certain things … reiterate things just to make sure she knows I’m not that kind of person.  Control was creeping up.  

2013-08-15 06.50.41

We all know worry cannot do a single good thing for us.  The one thing it does do: it shows me how little my faith is in the moment.   Have you ever read Matthew 6:24-35.  It speaks of this same thing:

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  Matthew 6:25-34, emphasis added.

What’s truly going on when I can’t go back to sleep at 4:45 in the morning: 

I’m not trusting that God is big enough to protect my reputation.  This person knows I’m a believer in Jesus.  That I love Him.  That I am a pastor’s wife.  That I try to follow God and all He calls me too.  I’m afraid she’s thinking all that is a farce and I’m really just a deceitful, lying person.

I’m doubting God’s goodness around the orchestration of events in my life.  I’m thinking he is somewhat surprised by these certain conversations and events.  I’ll tell you something friends: That is not truth.  God is never surprised by events in our lives.  He not only knows them, but He ordained and orchestrated them.   Job 28:24  and 42:2 reference this.

I’m not relying on God to show me and lead me where I need to go and what I need to do in this situation, if anything!  Psalm 55:22 encourages us to cast our cares and burdens on the Lord so that He can sustain us.  When I’m spinning thoughts around and around in my head, rest assured, I’ve not given anything over to the Lord to take care of.  I’m only focused on what I can/should do about it.

So at 4:45 AM (!!!!) (That’s my brain being appalled at the ‘earliness’ of it all!) I got up.  I started the coffee, came to my favorite spot and just started praying.  I focus a lot better when I pray by journaling (writing my prayers out).  So that’s what I did.  I prayed these scriptures over myself, asking God to let them be true in my life and to allow my heart to believe them and act accordingly.  Everything isn’t ‘fixed’.  I still don’t know what this lady thinks of me, but I do feel better about it.   After spending time in prayer and surrendering all this to Jesus, I have been able to experience Philippians 4:6-7 when it says:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to GodAnd the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Will you join me today in letting God’s peace be the overwhelming factor in your life?  It’s easy! Just start by giving everything to Him in prayer.  What do you want to talk to Him about first?

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Virginia Craven
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 08:28:52

    This is a great reminder Holly. The Matthew verses have always been some of my favorites and I relied on them many, many times during the re-building of our lives in the 90’s. Love you bunches-


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