31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 27: I Dropped The Ball

Let’s Just Be Honest: I dropped the ball.  I’ve been doing it a lot lately, but mostly with myself and family stuff around the house.  It’s not yet to the point where it’s affecting that many other people besides me and my husband. 

It’s little stuff.  I forgot to make the cookies for his birthday, so I run to the store and buy them.  I forgot to make the cookies for her birthday so I’m up at 5am to make them.  Oh ya, I forgot the wrapping paper so let’s go to HEB at 9pm. You were sick.  I was sick.  She was sick.  I need to do X and Y and Z and you name it … the list goes on and on.  The house is a wreck.  When was the last time I mopped?  I only have 1 day off this week … how is it all going to get done?

Do you ever end up on the hamster wheel and it just keeps going and going?  This is me for the past 1-2 weeks.  It’s weird because this just happens sometimes.  Things get behind, I can’t quite catch up … it’s a family affair to do so.  I’m not the only one keeping things running around here.  Little tricks of the trade are very helpful.  Just do one thing at a time one day at a time.  REMEMBER it’ not going to be messy forever.  I can ask for help from my husband and kids.  Speaking truth to myself in times like this is most helpful.  When I keep forgetting to do things or am in a place where it’s just not all getting done like I want or as fast as I want, I often will feel disappointed in myself and spin lies in my head like these …

‘Of course you forgot something else, that’s just what you do, forget everything.’

‘You’re such a disappointment; you keep forgetting everything’

‘He is so mad at you because you haven’t done X for so long, like you said you would’

‘You should just get a full-time job and hire a maid, they’d do a much better job at this than you.’

You see what’s going on there?  It sounds so awful when I type it out, but for me, it’s often thoughts that just swing in and out of my mind.  Self-defeating, self-deflating thoughts.  This is a very old pattern of thought for me.  One that is all to familiar and all to wrong.  Do you know why it is wrong?  It’s wrong because IT IS NOT TRUE.  When I accepted Christ as my Savior and submitted my life over to Him, His will, His power and His authority: this happened:

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Cor 5:17

I became a new creature.  I was washed clean from all the sin and gunk and old patterns of thinking.  I’M NEW.  So I can think new and act new.  So that’s what I do now.  As soon as I {by the grace of God} can see when I’m in those bad, old, sinful patterns of thinking, I switch.  I switch to thinking truth.  True things about myself and my life that counter the lies spinning in my head.  {On a side note, it’s not that I have all this scripture memorized and I think of the 1 exact thing I need right then and there all the time … most of the time I’ll flip open my bible and read old notes and look at highlighted scriptures or even google specific words to find the right scriptures to battle the lies spinning in my head.}  So here’s the truth I speak to myself and pray over myself today:

Holly, You are a child of God, created IN HIS IMAGE (Genesis 1:27).  He did not disappoint Himself when He created you.  You are not a disappointment to God, Michael or yourself (Genesis 1:31).

The Lord will stand with you and strengthen you in whatever you have to get done (2 Timothy 4:17).  Whether you rise early, stay up late, need to drink more coffee or work a long day.  He is in it with you.  He loves you and cares about this.

Holly, You can trust in God with ALL your heart.  Don’t lean on what you think you know or feel or how you usually do it … lean on Him.  lean into Him, right now. Use His knowledge and understanding.  HE will guide you.  He will give you a straight path to walk on.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

God cares about the details of your day.  This, what you’re doing RIGHT NOW, He cares about it.  (Matthew 6:26-34)

Rest in Jesus, every day.  First thing and all will be okay.  Give all of what you are thinking and feeling and having to do and not do to Him because HE can handle it far better than you, Holly.  He’s the creator of the universe, it’s kind of in His job description to keep thinks spinning and moving.  (Matthew 11:28)

Friends, I pled with you now, speak truth to yourself.  Run ALL OF YOUR LIFE through the truth of the Gospel and scripture.  You will not be disappointed if you are continuing to submit yourself and your will to the One True God who has it all under control right now.  How can you do that right now? What truth do you need to point your own heart back to?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Susan Lockhart
    Oct 28, 2013 @ 09:55:54

    Oh my goodness I needed this so much! I knew God was speaking through you to me as soon as the tears began to flow. I needed that reminder that God cares about all that we are walking through and that He understands, even when others don’t. Thank you!

    Reply

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