31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 12: Friends

We all need friends.  Let’s just be honest: I love friends.  Friends are fun.  Friends hug you.  I love hugs.  Friends are sweet to you.  Friends listen and give of themselves to you.  Good friends are great.  Do you have good friends?  I’ve been blessed over the years with great ones.  I totally see that.  Yet sometimes, friendship can be complicated.  Friends hurt each other.  I’m at the stage in life where *hopefully* we’re being hurt unintentionally.  Here are my tips to being a good friend in these older stages of life:
Listen.  I know you do it all day in your life with your work, kids and husband, but no friend wants to go out with you just to hear you verbally vomit all over her.  Take a deep breath.  You’ll have your turn to talk.
Similarly … Go into the friendship, workout, girls night out, etc. with your friend thinking ‘what can I do for her today’ instead of thinking ‘she has got to hear this!!!’.  It does our hearts and minds good to go into the relationship thinking unselfishly.  Maybe you have some crazy stuff going on, but good to bet she does too.  Take time for her first.  Let her talk first.  Pray with her … right then! in the middle of the conversation.  How can you be used to minister, speak to and love her?
Make time.  Yes, we all know this is such an easy one, yet such a hard one.  I can usually make time on the phone (especially now that both are in school all day; for those who aren’t there yet … just hold on.  I will get easier to have phone conversations).  I can usually make time for a walk or exercise date or even something during the day.  Nights and weekends are the hardest for me.  Nights are full of dinner, homework, family time, small group or sometimes I’m just plain tired.  I go downhill after about 8:30 or 9 anyhow!  But it’s really good for me to get  time with my friends at night going out somewhere.   It’s really nice.   Make time for it.
Call, text, write or email your friend when you’re thinking of her.  It speaks volumes.  Just a simple ‘I’m thinking of you and praying for you right now’ is amazing.  It sometimes brings me to tears *depending the emotional state I’m in!!!* or just softens my heart and warms me from the inside!
Pray for her in person.  We christian girlfriends know we pray for each other.  But doing in with one another, in person, is so moving.  It grows you closer together, allows for the Holy Spirit to work and do something right then and there.  You are experiencing God together.  That is powerful.  Don’t miss out on that.  I’ve prayed with friends in the school parking lot, at restaurants, in cars, by the gym pool, over the phone and even in the gym locker room.  People might stare … who cares.  It’s far more important to do it than not.
Lastly, apologize.  Just do it.  It’s not that bad.  In fact, it’s freeing.  When you see that you’ve hurt your friend: a big hurt or a little hurt; an intentional one or an unintentional one.  Just put your big girl panties on and apologize.  Apologize with heart and love and the best of both of you in mind.  It’s wonderful and freeing and lovely.  And you probably get a hug in the end.
That’s all I have for now.  Do you have any other friendship suggestions?
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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: 31 days of Let’s Just Be Honest: Intro | Moms Encouraging Moms
  2. Trackback: 31 Days: Let’s Just Be Honest Day 15: Confession | Moms Encouraging Moms

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