What Tickles Him?

This is the fun stuff and this list of what tickles our husbands should be  as varied as the personalities of all of them, but I do want to again visit about a few generalities that all men love in their wives:

·       Physical Relationship

·       Shared hobbies

·       Loving him in his love language

·       Humor More

Manipulation

You may be asking a really simple question, “What really is manipulation?”  To put it simply,

Manipulation is simply trying to outsmart someone else to get our own way In this case, we are talking about manipulating our husbands and what is so sad is that this is an area that comes so easily and naturally to a woman. If we believe that God’s plan for marriage is better than ours and that He has created our husbands to lead our families, then manipulation is truly aimed at:

 Outsmarting God to get our way

We all know that we can’t outsmart God & I am not really sure what makes us resort to this tactic; I guess maybe we are all just “Desperate Housewives” in one sense! An early 20th century Biblical scholar, Crawford Toy,  writes in his Commentary on Proverbs that there are 3 things that make a house intolerable:

 1.     the leaking through of rain

2.     bugs

3.     a wife’s nagging

 

Did you know that nagging is a form of manipulation?  We nag, nag, nag until our husbands get so tired of hearing us that they finally give in to our wishes.  I never want my husband to look at me as a nag.  I am so bad about this that there are many times I will have a “to do” list and I will tell Dick what needs to be fixed, but I will never go back & remind him.  I think sometimes he gets more irritated with me because I don’t remind him and he can’t always remember what needs to be done than if I were to nag a little about it!

Another form of manipulation is what one of my friends admits she has resorted to in order to get her way.  She said it usually goes like this…

 “Honey, what do you think this lamp looks like here?  (Wanting him to agree with her) and then he might say something like, “I don’t like it there; I think it looks better over here.”  Now, instead of discussing it with him at that point, and trying to do what he likes, she leaves it for a day or two, but is still unhappy with it.  So then she goes in, changes it.  Then, he wonders why she changed it and so the discussion starts and he replies, “Well if you didn’t want my opinion, then why did you ask for it? “  So, she has created a situation where he doesn’t want to give an opinion now and she finally gets her way and wins.  It would work a lot better if she would just be the decorator in this situation, unless of course he has strong decorating opinions.  In that case, they both need to be able to give their opinions and they need to sit down and come up with a happy decision that pleases them both.

In review, we have looked at how to keep our husbands ticking through submission, tranquility in the home, faithfulness & respect.  And four areas that tick them off are comparison, lack of communication, finances & manipulation.  We are now ready to see what tickles them.  This should be fun:)

 

Finances

This next tick is a crucial issue in most families & usually it is because there never seems to be enough to go around!  FINANCES/MONEY.

 We are all raised differently and the way we have used, spent & saved money in our past is what we carry into our marriages.  This many times requires work to co-ordinate how the money is handled.  But, living within your means is a big area where you can show your husband love.  Continually spending more money More

Communication-or lack thereof

At points in our married life we will all go  through  periods of time where we one or both are under a lot of stress.  This can cause us to be short with each other, this has happened in our marriage several times, one time in particular I rememeber…I said something that was not very loving or gentle…then Dick came out with something that hurt my feelings.  Now trying not to cause a big argument,  I engulfed those hurtful words and thought about them, held them close and nursed them like a newborn baby—I would feed them in my mind and then watch the resentment in my heart grow until God pointed out my sin.  So, after some time passed when some other issues arose ,I  tried a different approach.

 I sat down, kept my personal feelings aside & discussed why I thought we were communicating poorly.   WOW…what a difference a kind word will make.  Proverbs (15:1) tells us “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Harsh words are like stabbing someone with a knife.  One stab makes you bleed a little, but several, continual stabs will eventually make you bleed to death. So, the next time you feel that “tension before the argument”- try taking a different approach…step back, take a deep breath & look for a soft gentle answer.  Remember,

 “The mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matthew 12:34).  If God fills my heart then gentle, loving answers & words will fill my mouth.

One of the most important ways to love our husbands is to learn how to communicate & fight clean.  Good marriages get better when a couple grows and changes from their arguments.  When that happens you aren’t always arguing over the same old set of circumstances every time. When resolving conflict, try working on:

  •  Using kindness & gentleness
  • Apologizing FIRST
  • Forgiving
  • Using tact

 Listen to this cute story of a husband who is learning how to use tact.  It comes form a book by Michael LeBoeuf titled “How to Win Customers & Keep Them for Life” (pg.100 of The Tardy Oxcart by Chuck Swindoll):

 “Tact is one of the lost arts of the 20th century, isn’t it?  I heard about a man who lacked tact.  He was the type person who just couldn’t say it graciously.  He & his wife owned a poodle.  They loved this dog.  It was the object of their affection.  The wife was to take a trip abroad & the 1st day away she made it to New York.  She called home & asked her husband, “How are things?”  He said, “The dog’s dead!”  She was devastated.  After collecting her thoughts, she asked, “Why do you do that?  Why can’t you be more tactful?” He said, “Well, what do you want me to say? The dog died.”  She said, “Well you could give it to me in stages.  For example, you could say when I call you from New York, ‘The dog is on the roof.’  And then when I travel to London the next day & call, you could tell me, ‘Honey, the dog fell off the roof.’  And when I call you from Paris, you could add, ‘The dog had to be taken to the vet.  In fact he is in the hospital and is not doing well.’  And finally, when I call you from Rome, ‘Honey, brace yourself.  Our dog died.’  I could handle that.”The husband paused & said, “Oh, I see.”  The she asked, “By the way, how is mother?”  And he said, “She’s on the roof!”

 Get the idea?  Good Communication takes practice throughout your marriage; it is something you will always work on…by the way, remember when I said I tried to put my personal feelings aside & communicate in a Godly style?  Do you know that made such an impact on my husband that he brought it up everyday for almost a full week & thanked me for trying so hard to help us communicate with out arguing?  Poor communication certainly is an irritant that ticks off our husbands.

What Ticks Him Off?

As we discussed earlier, the better student you are of your husband the easier it is to avoid the things which upset him.  You might even feel like the Peanuts cartoon where Lucy looks at Snoopy & says, “There are times when you really bug me, but I must admit there are also a lot of times when I feel like giving you a big hug.”  Snoopy replies:  More

Faithfulness and Respect

Think back on your wedding day, the dress, the excitement, the flowers, the music, the family and friends.  Wonderful memories flood my mind when I take that walk in my memory.  I so remember the sunlight coming in the stained glass while I repeated my vows. Little did I realize when I innocently stood at the altar and repeated (insert your names):

I Virginia take you Dick to be my wedded husband…” that I was actually making a covenant with God; not a contract with man.  A contract can be broken, but a covenant is made with God and is intended for life.  What you and I actually promised to do when we made that covenant was to be Faithful and to : More

Submission and Tranquility

Submission is a topic that is so misunderstood in the Christian as well as non-Christian world.  It’s intimidating to think of someone having authority over us, but we all do.  In all areas of life there is authority that rules us.  On the other hand, submission to the proper authority is often a freeing thing.  God has called our husband’s to More

WHAT MAKES YOUR HUSBAND TICK?

In our entry hall we have a grandfather clock that we love.  Dick and I purchased it for Valentine’s Day over 30 years ago.  For the most part we don’t have any problems with the clock…but a couple of times over the years we have had to take it to a ‘clock expert’ to work on the heart and soul of the clock.  Usually all we have to do is wind it often & adjust the settings occasionally.  But, when it is overhauled More

The Source of our Love

Do you remember falling in love?  The Butterflies?  The Nervous Feeling?  The Continual Happiness?  The Thoughts of your New Found Love?  Now, do you remember that fading???  Real love is so much more than the superficial feelings we have when we first fell in love.  Love truly does grow and deepen as we spend more time and discover each other on a deeper level.  Today I want to visit about More

Dear Tech Support

I love technology, but I really do not understand technology.  I so depend on my husband and kids to keep me headed in the right direction:)  Although it may not seem like this is the second part of my blog on More

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